Roughly translated to Vincent van Gogh, I start this blog; 'and I'm photographing my dream'.
My dreams, of which I later think, why did I dream this? I can never resist the temptation to google to find an explanation for my dreams. Well, I usually do not become wiser or happier...
Back to the photography. I always start my photography journey that way. And then I 'awake', like out of a dream and think why did I take this photograph? Googling had not much sense and there is nothing else left then to let it rest for just a few days. The answer usually comes naturally: I like the picture and I know why or I think it's not good enough and then it goes straight into the trash can. And so it goes every time. I try other methods than "I'm photographing my dream," but too often it does not lead me to the desired result.
'I'm photographing my dream' and I'll keep doing that. As soon as I stop dreaming, and don't give my imagination the full space, things go wrong. If I have not seen it before, or rather dreamed it, not much will be happening. Often I realize only afterwards that I have seen it before.
Or I need others to make me pay attention to it. As happened recently, during a photo book presentation by a colleague photographer: I was deeply touched. Back in the car, along the river the Waal (beautiful area !!) I wondered what it was that touched me so much. It was the recognition of and longing for what I had seen before, I later realized. And also the recognition of the process, to find out what I’ve seen before. The way that I have to go.
'I'm photographing my dream' and I'll keep doing that. The process, the struggle and the fear to get there belong to it.
The longing is the driving force